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A question about Love and Dating



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A question about Love and Dating

Which one would you pick to date?  

Someone you love but have mixed feelings about you
or 
Someone that loves you but you're really not inloved with yet.

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burgosmichael24

We have to understand that love is not about finding the right person but being the right person for the one you choose to love. Falling in love is easy but staying in love to the same person for a long time is exceptional.




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stbrians

Be the love that someone desires seem a great thing to do. Taking one for a date is a good way to cultivate love. Love can be cultivated. You come to love the person over time.

In the African society, it was common to see people matchmaking. Though one does not love in the beginning, it soon is cultivated.




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cjctm11

I agree with your thoughts and I don't prefer to choose which is better. Just don't rush your feelings because you will somehow regret it at the end. It is okay to date someone, it was just an step on getteng to know each other. Just be true to yourself and love will find the right time to fall in love with your perfect soulmate.




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Youngshark

Oooh great advice over here. It is always about you and whether you are ready to offer yourself to be loved and remain faithful for that matter.




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Enyi

Finding a right isn't easy what is easy is being right ourself. So I prefer to be right knowing that the other person might fall in line for us.love situation can be dicey sometimes.




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Jeane

I like this and would have said that myself though in a different way.

Everyone wants to be loved but they don't want to be the ones who love someone else first. I learned the hard way that for many people love is but an illusion which is why when the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over they start wondering whether their SO is the right person for them. However once you learn to actually realize that there's more to love than just a warm "fuzzy" feeling, you can go out with anybody just to find out what their good qualities are because these are more important than that person's looks or what they say.




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kaushikangara

I would pick the second one. I know that she loves me and it would be very nice to go on a date with someone who loves you a lot. I may love her if the relationship is destined to become one. Love is an eternal entity and it can happen at any place, at any moment and with anyone.




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stbrians

Should I agree with you? Someone who loves you is good. You should also start growing fonder.

Love comes in the end. You just find yourself loving in the end.




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Enyi

Someone might love you but the question is always the reverse do you love the person. Sometimes it might just not work that way if the person isn't our type and standard.




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overcast

I'd date someone who loves me. Because I have seen many type of women in my life. Like the one who wants to marry for financial security. The one which wants to take care of her kids using the man's finances. The one who don't want to work anymore and finding guy who to keep up with. So in all of this drama I have not seen the woman that loves me. So if I can find that even for small moment I'd date that.




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stbrians

What if you do not love the person who loves you? The person may not have the qualities you want. They may be deformed What will you do?

Love is not actually blind. It sees.




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overcast

I agree it does see. But after being with many women who are just choosing you for money. I'd rather marry blind girl than marrying any woman who marries me for money and her own security. That's what I have decided so far.




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focusedwriter10

There is a high possibility of loving back if that person can change. I believe you can change someone, or she/he can change the character forever.




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Youngshark

It is only a person that is willing to change who can do so. Never deceive yourself that you can change anyone if they have not made the resolution themselves.




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emiaj55

I would go for someone I love but have mixed feelings about me. Sure she maybe unsure yet, but she not hating me is a good thing. That means that I just got to show her why she should choose me. Besides, giving this a try is better than trying it out with someone just for the sake of, but lacking the feelings to start with. It is always better to try if you already know how you feel. If you lose and get hurt in the end, it is still okay since you get to show how you feel. It is definitely better than to feel and not go for it. It is a sure recipe for regret.




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stbrians

Charm that person you love till they love back. Am confused and seems to support both options. Yet if love is there we defeat all.




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iambeth

I agree since the other person just has mixed feelings for now which means that there could be chance of changing that. We'll be able to know each other a bit more through dating and it might be a positive change of emotion towards me.




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edencaga

Me too. Even if that someone is not sure about me at least I try to show my affection than nothing. Its risky but if that someone has the same feelings about you and you won his or her heart then it's worth the effort. Trying out things is best even if you received nothing at least you try.




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Enyi

Love is a very dicey situation I used to think about having someone that loves me and I love the person in return. This scernerio is alot better than any other way.




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Alania

That's impossible, but of them are wrong. You both gotta love each other. But love isn't just emotions, it's a duty as well. Once the love (a.k.a. emotions) go away, what will you have left?




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stbrians

This is a difficult question. All the options count depending on the concerned people. Some will prefer the one they love while others will look for the one who loves them. It actually depends.




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jpk0007

Well i would always go ahead and date a person for whom i feel love and attachment. Obviously, if you feel love for someone, you are bound to get attracted to that person and you would want to spend all your time with that person and see whether that person also has the same feelings about you. Equally if someone is in love with me, that person will always want to go on a date with me. I think i would go for both the dates. Dating each other lets you know the person at a deeper level and you never know the results.




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jaymish

What a choice! Both are horrible. The older you grow the more you realize that you should not settle. You should love someone and they should love you.Anything else is unacceptable. However if I had to choose I would selfishly choose someone who loves me more than I love them. Those sort of relationships seem to work out better in my opinion. Its also better when the man loves the woman more than she loves him.




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antonToledo

Why choose one if you can have both? Look for someone you truly love and that someone also loves you back. I've been in a relationship for 7 years and I can say the reason why my relationship lasted this long is that we both love each other I know it is hard to find true love and I was lucky to find one just be patient and don't settle for less when it comes to love. You only zing ones.




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Alania

The whole problem is that people nowadays are less mature and reliable to get into a serious relationship and creating a family. But time has no mercy, if you wont do it someone else will. The older you get the harder it gets to create a family nowadays. Lack of traditions and too much progress ruined the basic foundations on which our societies were built on.




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Franzel2oo

I'll pick the one who loves me even if I am not involved with them yet. The reason is, it is easier to fall in love with someone who loves you, than it is to make someone who doesn't love you to fall in love with you. Besides, a person who loves you will be there for you while you warm up to them. The one you love might just be in love with someone else and they might as well leave you for them. It's just the way life works.




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iambeth

Having unrequited love is just so sad. The pain of loving someone who has no love for you is truly heartbreaking. And being willing to wait for a long time to be loved by someone, I think, can already be considered as self-harm.




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davedaot04

Maybe you mean, "Have mixed feelings for you." If that's the case I'll go for someone that I love even though she have mixed feelings for me, I don't care if she might be confused about her feelings in me as long as we always have communication and we get together the feelings will build up and pretty sure will be in love with each other. I wouldn't wanna be with someone that I don't love, that's really a waste of time.




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luv2xacosta

I would chose the latter. Loved can be learn especially if that person is very honest with his/her feelings rather than choosing that person who have a mixed emotion. I mean what he/she was just confuse and the one that he /she really love is not you that would be painful. Maybe I'm just afraid of being the second best that's why.




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Barida

That sounds right as I would not want to struggle trying to make some one love me. This is not the best way to ensure that we have a good relationship with the people around us as well.




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Steve5

I'm sure we all feel that way. No one wants to be rejected. Especially, after already investing your time and emotions in someone you love. Just be sure that you don't hurt the person who actually loves you.




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Barida

I always want to go with someone that already love me and I have a bit feeling for. The reason is that we all know that love is a good thing and building it for the love of your life is something that is necessary for us to achieve the goal in the bigger picture.




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Steve5

I guess it's a complex thing. As long as you're able to learn to love the person, then it's fine. Much better if you already have good chemistry together. That way it's easy for you to fall in love with the person.




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theresajane

I also believe that if someone has an affection for you, you'll also grow affection for them too. You may build the love in the way. So, I'll also choose dating someone who has already feeling for me.




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Steve5

I guess I prefer the person I love. It wouldn't be nice to choose someone out of security. Like if you settle for someone with the knowledge that they already love you. It feels wrong. They deserve someone who loves them as much as they do.




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NerdIndeed

But what if you ended up liking her after a while because she treats you well? She's in love with you already, half of the battle has been won! Haha!




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cmoneyspinner

I wouldn't DATE either one. Love is a beautiful thing. It's not an emotion you should take advantage of or toy with a person's heart. That's cruel. Mixed feelings? That's crap!

  • If you love the person but they aren't returning that same feeling toward you, then don't open yourself up for a heartache.
  • The same is true if the person loves you but you don't have the heart to love them back. Then don't take advantage of that person.
I was taught that dating is for people who are considering a love interest with the goal of that person becoming a marriage partner for life. If that's not your intentions then you're not dating. You just want a buddy you can hang out with.




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amelia88

You summarized it perfectly. Not worth either setting yourself or someone else up to be hurt in the long run. I always thought the same. I had some crappy relationships when I was younger and once I eventually got my head around the idea that it was better to be alone than unhappy in a relationship, the next person I dated ended up being my husband!




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overcast

Haha. I think it's very complicated topic. plus the world is now more materialistic than anything else out there. You can see that in such case dating becomes harder. We don't know why third person is likely to date us. And how they are planning to spend time with us. It all becomes relative in that case. We have to sometimes let things work.




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knnon

This is my answer as well. It's better to be alone than be with someone who doesn't even feel the same way as you do. It's lonely being with someone who doesn't value you, and it destroys a person in a lot of ways. And I can't do that to anyone that's why I choose being alone would be best. Love should be mutual and love should be given and received the same amount.




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NerdIndeed

I've been in a similar situation before where I'm the only one exerting the effort to make the relationship work. So stressful and dreadful. That's why this time around I'll go for option 2, for a change. One more thing, it's best to walk this earth alone than to be with bad company.




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knnon

Exactly! It's so exhausting being the only one putting in all the effort into a relationship. And it just gets to you at one point. It destroys your confidence, it destroys your self-esteem, and you just start to question everything! Ugh why are there people who are like that anyway! I'm not triggered! LOL




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NerdIndeed

Haha! The phrase "taken for granted" applies to these kinds of situations. It's worse when the one you're with only cares about me, me, me. Might as well be alone than to be with someone like that.




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knnon

It's hard being with a selfish person. They tend to only think they're the only one who is right and that they're never wrong. They always think you're crazy and you're always overreacting about everything. I think being with a selfish person can kind of be compared to someone who is abusive in an emotional and mental way.




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NerdIndeed

It's actually the opposite way around. The selfish person is the one who usually acts like a crazy person and overreacting about little things all the time.




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focusedwriter10

After reading this awesome summary, I feel my thinking regarding the question was not sober. However, I had chosen the second one because the chances of loving back are higher.




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edencaga

I believe you have to build a friendship first before you can date someone. If you have already feelings to that person maybe you should be make friends to that someone first before ask anything about date because I believe in that way you give respect to your relationship status.




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mhingnhormz

A question avout Love and Dating: 8 will choice the someone I love but have mixed feeling about me rather than someone who loves me but I really not inloved with yet. Because it is better to give than to recieved, loving to the person that you are not sure about his/her feelings is much good for me but always put in your mind that don't you ever expect in return to the love you given and be sure you have lot o loves for your self than him/her.




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amelia88

Gosh, I don’t know that I would choose either! Finding a suitable person to settle down with has so many factors that come into play. If anyone had doubts at all I don’t think it’d be wise to commit. I’d rather be alone than in a relationship that was set to fail from the start.




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focusedwriter10

Well, I would go for someone that loves you but you are really not involved with yet. Reason being, if the relationship is promising, you will finally find yourself loving the person.




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Enyi

Love can be so difficult to explain and I wonder why.you see someone you love ,loving another and the one that loves you don't just want the person really dicey situation I must say. Well,I like to go for the one I love it more valuable to me that way.




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NerdIndeed

Call me whatever you want, but I would like to date someone who in some way has already feelings for me. So I would choose option 2 - Someone that loves me, but I'm not in love with yet.




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rose61

I concur.I think I'll find it easier to learn yo love someone, than expecting someone to love me just because I love them.It is good to get involved with someone who loves you more than they love them.




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NerdIndeed

I agree. Or at least someone that is already interested in you and not necessarily love you. In today's day and age, where switching of attention span is so fast, it's hard to convince someone to like you back and make it stay that way for years.




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theresajane

I would also do the same. I prefer to be loved and receive so much love. It's better than giving love without experiencing love in return. It's just very tragic to me.




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NerdIndeed

Someone I used to know always says, "there is only two happiness in life, and that is to love and be loved."




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rlpzbeermoney

It's hard to assume that someone has feelings for you. In the end, you'll end up looking like an idiot. It's better if you both don't know each other prior to meeting. No hidden feelings. Just a real encounter.




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burgosmichael24

My answer would be, "I will cross the bridge when I get there." Sometimes it's easy to speak about something if we are not on that situation but if that situation happens to us, we usually break our own rules. Based on my personal experience, I never fell in love with the person who loves me but I made the person that I love fall for me.




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rlpzbeermoney

I agree with your statement, "I will cross the bridge when I get there." So many people force their love on one another that it's suffocating sometimes. They think that giving equals love and they give and give. That's not how love works. Two people will just naturally feel the same for each other in due time.




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gutzman

I've been there and done that both. Choosing to date the one who loves you is kind of complicated. You have to develop a special feeling for that person in order for you to enjoy and appreciate his/her company. If not, you are only fooling yourself and and making him/her hope for nothing. I've experienced though to date someone who loves me. It's awkward at first but after months and months I appreciate the effort until I realized that I love her already. It naturally happened because at first I don't like her.




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theresajane

We have to respect each other opinions here. Well, for me, I would choose the latter. Isn't it nice to be loved or to receive love? Well, when someone loves you, you'll learn o love that person too when time comes. But, if you're too close-minded and you'd still want the other one who's not even surely in love with you, then, good-bye, you're a hopeless one. Joke.




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burgosmichael24

For me, it's better to trust God to guide you on this journey. Involve Him in your decision making and pray. I believe that if you put your trust in God, He will never lead you to the wrong person. It is wise to put God first in your life and everything will follow just like in Matthew 6:33




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theresajane

Very true. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never ceases praying and He will help you in your path.




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